Struggles we all face

After I wrote the previous blog, Travis and I were driving down to San Diego for an afternoon with the boys. We had a chance to talk about the blog, the idea behind it, and what was happening. I was overwhelmed with the response and completely flattered with the words of encouragement. I received several personal messages regarding my strength, grace and ability to live again. Its hard for me to accept compliments. (But don't get me wrong, it reminds me why I am sharing my story.) I don't see myself as anything less than a person trying to survive. Just like the rest of us. Yes, things have been thrown my way in life that are not so normal. Most of my friends will not face what I have had to face, but it doesn't mean they won't struggle. Others will and have faced struggles that I have never and will never face. What gets thrown our way in life makes up our journey.  Just because your struggle doesn't involve death of a loved one, it doesn't mean its not your struggle. It doesn't mean its not the hardest thing you have faced. To you, its a struggle and is hard and to me thats valid.

Truly, what it comes down to, is the idea that I believe anyone, ANYONE, in my position would be doing the same thing. I feel like when people imagine the thought of dealing with the death of their spouse or an ill child, your first thought is that you would not survive. I would have thought the same before having to actually deal with it. I really think you would surprise yourself though. As humans, we have this insane ability to adapt. I have adapted. I have adapted to not having Steven in my life. Does it mean I will ever be used to it? No. Does it mean I will ever accept it? Hell no. Death is something that can be far too difficult to wrap your brain around. I believe this is why it is such a taboo topic. But I have adapted. I have chosen to move forward. As hard as the concept is, I know you could too. I don't wish this on anyone, ever. Especially you. 

I have met a community of widows who have chosen to live just as I am. In fact, Travis and I had the honor to capture the wedding of a widowed friend of mine I met through an online community. Widows are living, breathing, surviving and moving forward. If I had been the one to go, I would have wanted the same for him. 

I have met a woman through my best friend who is going through the struggle of a life time. Her young son is fighting for his life, living with a terminal illness, while she fights an untreatable cancer right along side him. She has often posted updates about her and her son and I have followed their journey over the past year. I have followed it because it is a life I could not imagine living. It is a struggle. It is her struggle. While it is a struggle most of us won't face, it is one I cannot accept. I cannot begin to understand her struggle, as I am sure she cannot begin to understand mine. Her struggle has given me the ability to feel even more blessed than I already had. It has reminded me not to complain about the car line at Starbucks (which I totally did and then felt like an idiot), to not feel so annoyed when my kids are sword fighting with their forks at the kitchen table (currently happening) and to feel thankful for this moment.

Travis and my conversation came down to myself realizing that my story does the same for others.
I will continue to share and continue to give HOPE.